Deity Humour, Lemons and Death

Recently, the simple act of knowing I am breathing in when I'm breathing in, and knowing I am breathing out when breathing out has coincided with increasing levels of joy and a subtle background bliss that lingers about me like a pleasant scent.

This is an incredibly encouraging indicator for the efficacy and power of this practice and sparked my curiosity as to what would happen if I dedicate yet more time to this most simple and ancient technique.

So last week I resolved to cut back on my work hours and dedicate more time to meditation. I booked a coach to inspire accountability. I set up automated systems to decrease the most time-consuming tasks. I delegated. I set healthy boundaries. I bought a book on Mindfulness by the scholar-practitioner Bikkhu Analayo and underlined engaging passages. I bought a watch so I wouldn't have to turn on my phone to check the time.

I was totally and untarnishibly set.

Then today, at 5 am, I woke with a mind that would not stop thinking of apparently urgent work-related roles I could do, should do and for the rest of the day, would do. In a flurry of delirious dedication, I spent 15 hours at the computer with barely a break to break wind, (if you'll excuse my sordid love of alliteration at any cost.)

Even now, 11 pm, I shouldn't be typing this. A hot flush indicates a coming cold. I'm a frazzled bag of nerves. Yet the humour of the whole thing is cause for calmed concern. I'm reminded of the Rumi poem...

I reach for a piece of wood. It turns into a lute

I do something mean. It turns out helpful.

I say one must not travel during the holy month.

Then I set out, and wonderful things happen.

...and that scientists say, (or the journalists that misinterpret them, I'm not one to labour through original sources), that our decisions are made long before we are conscious of them.

What I plan to do and what I actually do are potentially only spuriously correlated, like the increase in Mexican lemon imports in the 90s coinciding with a reduction in US highway fatalities. Coincidence you say? And I thought you were spiritual.

Meanwhile, as I watch my mind make more promises than a politician down on points, it dawns on me that it's potentially pointless to make plans. They seem to have about as much skin in the game as a sports commentator on a pirate radio station.

Yet by such logic, its equally pointless to plan not to plan. Plans will be made. God will laugh. Then the next thing will happen.

Either way, I'm glad you read all the way to the end. I couldn't have planned it better. Or maybe you skipped a bunch because you're impatient to know how it all works out.

Either way, it's perfect.

For more wonderful indicators of correlations, causality and chaos click here.